Here are some reflections on Healthy Porn Watching practices from individuals coached by Joseph Kramer. These reflections represent many different gender identifications.
We invite anyone who tries these practices to share their experience in this forum. If you benefit from reading other people’s experience of doing Healthy Porn Watching practices, many others will benefit from your experiences with these practices. If we share your experiences here, we will gift you a year’s membership at OrgasmicYoga.com and EroticMassage.com. Tell us about how Standing and Moving and the Pendulum worked for you. Send your reflections to Joseph Kramer: info(at)erospirit.org
This was my first session standing up. I have never masturbated standing up. At least, that’s what I thought as I began the session. While I was masturbating and watching the porn, I remembered a time when I was 13 at my aunt’s house where I masturbated standing up. That was the year I learned to masturbate and I tried all kinds of stimulation that year. I was glad to remember that.
I did the Pendulum and realized I didn’t feel anything in my lower legs or feet, so I started rocking until warmth came back in my legs. I then slapped my pussy which caused shock waves down my legs which was surprising. I was totally pulled into my body. I was not aware of the porn at all. Not even the audio playing in my ears. I then grabbed onto and hooked my pubic bone. I tugged it forward like I was holding a handle. It was a powerful sensation that I want to explore more in the future.
I usually don’t watch porn for 20 minutes. I felt visually overloaded and wanted to do the Pendulum. I didn’t pause the porn, but I closed my eyes. I hugged myself. I gave myself the same type of touch that my partner gives me. I never touch my own breasts even though my nipples are very sensitive. But I love it when my partner plays with my breasts. I was surprised when I started massaging my own breasts. Standing up was definitely a different experience than the typical way that I usually watch porn.
The Pendulum gets me into my body. Starts my imagination going. I come into my body and who doesn’t want to be with their own pleasure? I just so enjoy being in myself, in my body. The Pendulum is a practice that is doable and enjoyable. It’s a good thing for me.
The Pendulum: I noticed that after the simple action of resetting my awareness and my priority into my own body, what immediately happened was a deeper, more embodied appreciation for the beauty of what I was watching.
I had a lot of resistance to standing. It took time to set things up, and I was nervous and stressed. I was wearing earphones but still worried that my Mom or Dad would come in. Because I was wearing earphones, I thought I wouldn’t hear them.I felt even more anxiety that I might be discovered. I didn’t expect that this would happen. It took me a long time to get into the porn with all my worries about this new way of watching. It was like learning to drive. I felt there were things I had to do like the brake and gas pedal and gears but I also needed to watch the road. Yes. this was just a first session. I will get used to it like driving a car. When I did the pendulum, I had to close my eyes to feel my body. Am I really feeling my body? My only surprise was how good it felt to move my hips. I wanted this to be playful instead of stressful. There is something here. Next time will be easier.
I’ve known this, but how simple self touch – touch, how simple it is, I can barely just graze my skin, feeling the hair. In two seconds, I dropped into such a deep state of presence and pleasure. All of my anxieties and constant mind chatter of what I have to do today, just faded away so quickly. I could do this for hours. It just feels so fucking good. Oh my God. I feel so connected to myself. I’m giving and receiving at the same time. I never do that. That was so nice to rediscover.
I noticed that bending my knees is incredibly important. There is a sense of groundedness that connects my feet into the ground, actually feeling my whole footprint in the ground. Having a hip-width stance, bending my knees, letting my hips sink into gravity. There is a sense of support in just being down on my body. I find that the more grounded I can be, the more arousal moves up my spine, creating a sense of polarity. I also feel a sense of openness to really breathe and relax into my pelvis before I start self-pleasuring. It’s a way of cultivating a sense of deep relaxation there. There’s just so much more potential for orgasm and arousal when I feel relaxed and grounded and rooted.
Something that was new for me today was just being really cool with nothing happening. I wasn’t trying to get anywhere. I wasn’t trying to get to orgasm. I wasn’t trying to get to a blissful state. I wasn’t trying to get to any particular anything. I found myself in moments just stopping. Pausing. Watching porn without moving my body or my hand – just feeling whatever my body was doing, and just kind of like noticing what’s going on without being in it. Which is beautiful too. There’s something cool about this.
I didn’t do enough pendulum today. I kind of got captured by the porn and didn’t do much pendulum. I started to get a little distracted by the porn. So maybe in my next session I would like to focus more on the pendulum and figure out what kind of techniques I can do to get me into my body.
Another huge learning for me today was that I found a way where my body awareness and the porn connected. It wasn’t just the pendulum going back and forth between my body and the porn, but I felt a third state almost. I felt the combination of my body and the porn together fully at the same time. That was huge. That was really huge.
Twenty-three people contributed videos to the Healthy Porn Watching project. If you would like to see the creativity that developed from doing months of Standing and Moving and the Pendulum, visit the Healthy Porn Watching section on OrgasmicYoga.com.